Life As You Know It

I think the idea that a person lives a single life is outdated and faineant. Life seems more transient than that because if you're really living, at the end of it all you'd have a few lives to speak of. At least it's seeming that way with me. Different periods or eras where things take fundamental, seismic shifts. When I moved from the Bahamas to Ithaca, NY things changed. When I moved from Ithaca to Washington, DC things changed. And, now with my move to London I feel things shifting yet again. It's difficult though. I really enjoyed my time in DC and I came to London thinking that I would lead a similar life, alas that era, like the party flier said, might really be over. I am a graduate student at one of the top universities in the world (where the average amount of books checked out per students from the library, the largest social science library in the world, is 142) and as the Dean of the grad school put it today, this program is going to be a sprint to the finish. For me, that meant that Joey Bahamas, you know the shopping, partying, dinning, traveling alter ego of mine, may have to go on sabbatical...

#Beautiful?

In London

I finally finished Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential...and feel renewed and excited. Smoke slowly creeps from a chipped and burnt tea cup, a makeshift ashtray of sorts. I have inexplicably reverted back to a student's life...well...my student life, like it was seven years ago when I was in small town Ithaca, NY in the middle of farm country, surrounded by mountains and the Finger Lakes. Things are different now. My bedroom window is opened to the damp, chilly London night air over looking the quaint but busy Judd Street in central London. I'm here and Bourdain's book, an extended love note to his passion for cooking has inspired me in the dark, early morning hours to write.

You know, when dreams come true the process is often very similar to what it feels like to dream. Let me try to clarify. Think about how it feels to dream. There is a kind of effortlessness, a speed about the way things happy. There's a blurriness about what's going on and all of a sudden there is some conclusion, you've reached to place only to realize everything that happened before, the smudges of seemingly desperate, negligible actions put you where your are at the end of it. I don't know if that makes any sense but that's how I feel. I was in DC, then I was at home in the Bahamas, then I was on the plane and now I've taken up residence in a new country, living a different life from the one I'd been living for the last year. It was just a dream, a sentence, an uttered phrase that yes, "I'm moving to London." When did this all happen? How did this all happen?

And here I am, two weeks into it all, life continuing as if I didn't really make this great leap, like I didn't uproot myself from the settled life I had in DC, leave everything familiar to me and hurtle myself at 500 miles an hour across the great Atlantic expanse to this new place.


I guess what I'm trying to grasp is the way life progresses; how it can, with the ease of a flowing stream or the violence of a foaming, heaving waterfall move from one period to the next leaving you simply there. There being wherever you dreamed yourself being or wherever you just happened end up. How much control over these things do we have and what does it mean for us when we are given or have earned the fulfillment of those dreams, landing exactly where we intended or where we said we would.

I've been dreaming about being in London for four years now. I said this is where I was going to go and I've made it. And though I'm plagued with the questions of why I was given this chance and what will this mean my future I can only be certain of what I intend to do.

I see this as a journey for me. All my life I've been propelled by the desire to make everyone that has teased me, doubted me, discouraged me and left me behind for what they thought was better or more satisfying, envy me. I'm trying to balance that now with an appreciation for the amazing things that have been set before me. I mean, shit, I'm in London, enrolled at one of the best schools in the world following what I believe to be my calling. Why I've been given these opportunities, I don't know...but I guess my intention is not to waste them.

#Beautiful

On Dreams

Came across this piece I wrote sometime ago. Thought I should share...

On Dreams


Dreams are for those who sleep, its easy work to Create things in your
head. Its lazy, a thing full of excuse. You don't, in the end have to
achieve them because they were never really real in the first place.
Now reality that's where I shine. Not because I can force it or bend
it to my will. No! Reality bows to only those that can make it into
what it has always aspired to be...A Dream. I...we, have something to
offer reality. It wants, and needs our help. And, if we continue to
stumble about in our heads, never wanting, never needing to go beyond
our narrow visions, our flat earths, our earth centered cosmic
systems, our sea monsters, our myths, our soothsayers and nay-sayers,
we have failed reality and ourselves. The challenge is this: dispense
of our fears, that which is the greatest human addiction of them all,
and reach further than our minds tell us we can, outside of the realms
it has imprisoned us in.

Reality isn't so bad, once you get to know it. Reality Is Mine To
Dream, and My Dreams Are Indeed A Reality.

#Beautiful